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Wimple while you work: Sister leads "Christmas Catechism"
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
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So, a nun walks into a theater.
No, really. It's not a joke. Not yet.
It's Patti Hannon, star of the long-running "Late Nite Catechism" shows at the Scottsdale Center for the Arts. For the holiday season, though, she's moved her wacky class in Catholicism to the nearby Theater 4301 for "Sister's Christmas Catechism: The Mystery of the Magi's Gold," a staged classroom Christmas party with songs, a living Nativity and loads of laughs.
Save for witnessing a whole kickline of Rockettes take an accidental tumble, this "Catechism" - returning after a successful stint last winter - is the funniest holiday show in the Valley.
Adorned in pre-Vatican II wimple and habit, Hannon's Sister - just Sister, thank you - enters the theater just in time to catch her students, we the audience, joining in a sing-along "Jingle Bells."
Sister will have none of it.
"Simmer down, class," she says. "Clapping, singing - it's like 'Lord of the Flies' in here."
Class first, she instructs, then we can party.
Regulars to Sister's other "Late Nite Catechism" shows will find the first act familiar: There's a lesson of sorts, an extended riff on Christmas' origins and what, exactly, one gives to a nun (perfume: no; Whitman's Sampler: you betcha), punctuated by Sister's affinity for accosting audience members like a papal Don Rickles: Woe to the gum chewers among us, while those who actually attended Catholic school - or whose name is some variant of Mary - will find themselves in Sister's good graces.
Things get sillier in the second act, when Sister and an assistant outfit members of the audience with clothes and junk seemingly snagged from the lost-and-found box, assembling a riotous living Nativity (surrounding a plug-in, light-up baby Jesus, no less).
Slipping a fitted white bedsheet on her makeshift Mary of Nazareth, Sister is quick to quip, "It's been a long time since you've been a virgin, hasn't it?"
But this Nativity has a greater purpose than audience participation high jinks. Ssiter - who's been watching too many forensic procedural dramas on television - says she's on a mission to solve a Christmas mystery: Someeone must've stolen the gold given to the infant Jesus by the Three Wise Men. If not, Sister posits, the party could easily have upgraded from the manger. The detective work that follows resembles a blooper reel from "Father Dowling Mysteries."
Fresh from a summer of knee-replacement surgeries, Hannon is in fine form - is that a bit of pep in her step? - and her comic timing is as sharp as ever. Witness the ribbing she gave to a winter resident she singled out in the audience:
"You're a little snowbird," she said to him. "You don't know how to park, huh?"
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